November 2011
5 posts
April 2011
6 posts
Politics
Everyone deserves their opinions, I just wish they’d keep them to themselves, especially when it is hate-speak. Tumblr should be fun, not offensive and mean.
Politics
Everyone deserves their opinions, I just wish they’d keep them to themselves, especially when it is hate-speak. Tumblr should be fun, not offensive and mean.
Anonymous asked: i like to eat cheese with pickles and banannas and gefilte fish with horseradish and salmonella on a hot summer's day
“I care about the Royal wedding just about as much as I care about Oprah Winfrey.”
Anxiety
Trying to plan anything gives me extreme anxiety. For instance, I set a few chores up for myself today. Simple things: wash sheets, peel vehicle graphics off. I actively avoid doing anything I plan. I finally got started on my laundry. I can’t make plans with anyone right now because by the time that day arrives, I’ll be a wreck. Why am I like this?!
The Charley Horse Story
About a decade ago, I was in a relationship with a guy named Jake. We had been dating for a few years, but fought over a lot of stupid things and eventually called it quits. My “favorite” argument is a story I continue to tell because I think it was so hilarious and he was so ignorant.
One night I spent the night as his place. It is a frequent occurrence for me to get those AGONIZING...
March 2011
9 posts
Happy Birthday, Brian.
Today you would have turned 38. In honor of your memory, I am going to eat nothing but ice cream sandwiches. I miss you.
davids-tumblr asked: Hey, you don't mind of I show your comment with my answer do you? I'll answer it privately if you don't want it to be seen by anyone else.
Anonymous asked: May I use the proposed Crayola skin tones rename post as a slide in my course on colour? It adds a layer of funny to the point I want to make about colour category naming. lccarson@uwaterloo.ca
36 Year Old Clem
I’d like to go back to age 18 when the world was my oyster, I was tripping over my ego, vodka, beer and single men. I think I was supposed to be attending GVSU classes or something, lol (I was immature but LORD it was fun). Then I’d like to go back to age 30 for a complete do-over. How the F@*K did I end up living with my parents and working at Walmart at 36? It’s fine that I am,...
November 2010
0 posts
October 2010
10 posts
Parents and cell phones
My folks got new cell phones yesterday. I’m not sure why other than some smooth-talking Verizon punk crossed their path. They were due though. My mom’s phone was at least 8 years old. The Grandkids always want to send her a text so she got with the times.
Last night she was thoroughly reading the instruction book (who does that?) when she held the phone up to her eye like a camera,...
Giving up, sort of
Well, here it is: My condo will go into foreclosure. I am 36 years old living with my parents (and we ALL know how I feel about that). Thank God I’m not a virgin (not by a loooong shot, lol). Jiggy seems to like it here, so I’m trying to follow her vibe. The plus side? I will be able to take my time truly finding a job that I love and I will be able to slam the phone down on Lori...
Client TMI
A client of mine over-shared this bit of information with me today:
“My tits are bleeding.”
Good Lord. I work at a sign shop. I can’t handle a comment like this!
My brother's drunken wisdom on 80s music:
“I wish INXS never died. I could play the tambourine in that band. Or the cowbell.”
“All 80s bands have broken up. But I think John Cougar Mellencamp is still together.”
“For the last five years, I’ve been addicted to cold turkey.”
– Zach Galifianakis
iPod Notes
I keep a lot of notes on my iPod’s notepad app: things that I think are funny, mostly. Sometimes they are just random or drunken thoughts. I have a list of movie titles that remind me of penises (The Wood, The Shaft, Pecker, Dick, The Package, The Unit - technically a TV show. Whatever.)
Anyway, I was sifting through there tonight and I found a hilarious note that I have no recollection of...
For Kaylee
I’m going to start posting again.
July 2010
2 posts
June 2010
3 posts
Jimmy John's & Me
Just made a dinner pit-stop at my favorite hometown Jimmy John’s. The boys who work there greeted me by my first name (I swear I don’t go there THAT often, I just live in a small town). We rocked out to “Hash Pipe” by Weezer whilst they were makin’ my sub. They even made me a second FREE sub just because I always tell them how much I love coming in there. As I was...
May 2010
9 posts
“So I have this table here in the document, I was hoping you could graphisize it...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Lol. Made-up words make my day.
clientsfromhell:
lol. I would have said SURE!
Me: ”That’ll cost $200.”
Client: ”Could we give you half and pay the rest in alcohol? We make some ourselves!”
Me: ”Uhh, no, that’s okay. I, uhh, don’t really drink. Money will be fine.”
Watch
Poor Jiggy. I called the groomer :)
April 2010
34 posts
Fire Part II: Feeling extra lucky to still have a...
http://www.hometownlife.com/article/20100422/NEWS19/4220416/1036/Wind-aided+‘+nightmare++fire+destroys+Brookwood+Village+clubhouse
Attention Kelsey Holmes
I admire your chutzpah. Everyone else can S U C K I T !
What he said.
clientsfromhell:
Client: “Let me ask you something. How hard would it be to have a bunch of shapes, like rectangles, squares, other polygons, go into a perfect circle”
Me: “You mean to have a rectangle transforming into a circle?”
Client: “No. All different shapes, flowing into a circle.”
Me: “Contained in the circle?”
Client: “Flowing into it. All different shapes, into perfect… symmetry.”
...