Beans Above the Frank

Where is my mind?

I am a talented but mentally unstable thirty-six year old living with my parents. I was recently fired from Walmart for failing to show up several days in a row. I spend my time watching forensic-style TV shows, doing obsessive compulsive things, making jewelry and eating ice cream sandwiches. Believe it or not, less than a year ago, I was a homeowner and full-time employee with a decent job. Then I went crazy.


Ask me anything  
Reblogged from tomorrow-will-be-great
It’s not always easy, but it sure is nice when they’re gone.

It’s not always easy, but it sure is nice when they’re gone.

(Source: tomorrow-will-be-great, via sunkissedstitches)

Reblogged from imremembering
Remember when Fruit Stripes gum wrappers had temporary tattoos? GUM&TATTOOS!!!!! Unfortunately, the really poorly made tattoos barely lasted longer than the gum’s flavor.

Remember when Fruit Stripes gum wrappers had temporary tattoos? GUM&TATTOOS!!!!! Unfortunately, the really poorly made tattoos barely lasted longer than the gum’s flavor.

Reblogged from puravidabracelets
puravidabracelets:

Found these lying around the office this morning… Who wants ‘em? 🙋✌️✨ #freestuff #livefree #puravidabracelets (at www.puravidabracelets.com)

I DO! I DO! ZOMG The Black Anchor!!!!!!

puravidabracelets:

Found these lying around the office this morning… Who wants ‘em? 🙋✌️✨ #freestuff #livefree #puravidabracelets (at www.puravidabracelets.com)

I DO! I DO! ZOMG The Black Anchor!!!!!!

Reblogged from coloneldanverss

christophwaltztoocute:

Hans Landa - Inglourious Basterds (2009)

LOVE

(Source: coloneldanverss)

Reblogged from rafeldelalande
Love the Nautilus

Love the Nautilus

(Source: rafeldelalande, via my-body-is-canvas-of-my-mind)

PỤPP¥₡ẠŦ

PỤPP¥₡ẠŦ

We love Benny’s little Simpson-esque underbite. Plus, his piddies smell like popcorn. Eddie and I argue over who gets to smell his feet😃

We love Benny’s little Simpson-esque underbite. Plus, his piddies smell like popcorn. Eddie and I argue over who gets to smell his feet😃

Benny’s BIG TOOF! Trust me, you don’t want this one clamping down on your finger. He may be small (8.5lbs) but he bites HARD!

Benny’s BIG TOOF! Trust me, you don’t want this one clamping down on your finger. He may be small (8.5lbs) but he bites HARD!

Reblogged from kevvn
So tiny! <3

So tiny! <3

(Source: kevvn, via distraction)

Facebook: Faux Other Beau No’ Mo’

Today I have Facebook on my mind. All those fun times wallowing in other peoples’ lives through their photos and posts, …….. mmmmmm ….. offered up, by them, on a silver platter. Transmission was received with the swipe of a finger. Nosiness? Meet laziness. Boredom? Meet cure. Aaaahhhhhhhh. Do I miss it? A little bit, yeah. But mostly the “me” part of it. That is, posting MY witticisms and MY photos to prove to everyone how funny I am.

 
My own Facebook ALWAYS clapped and cheered and laughed or wept loudly and appropriately as I presented my own naked and true self to him and those who “I friended.” Be it for praise or beat-downs, silent judgement or vocal approval I received, I needed it from Facebook. I viewed Facebook as a person and I liked to tell him and show him every new and marvelous part of my life like a 6 year-old might a first friend. I wanted to know what “HE” had to say about these things. 94% of the time he was agreeable with his comments. Heck, he even made some bitchin’ new connections and reconnections for me. But then there was that other 6%.
 
Naturally, I joined Facebook with the legions that mass-herded from MySpace as if the plague of being uncool was gnashing at our heels. We hated the change. So plain. No music or backgrounds? Blech. Icky-ick. ….. oh, people are actually using this thing? And liking it? Okay. I folded like a T-Shirt at the Gap.
 
Yipee! This is fun! Poke! Like! Post! Super-Poke! Like like like like! Post post post! Weeeeeee! That was 94% of the time.
 
Then 6% Came a knockin’ and I’m like, No! No! That’s not what I meant in my comment! How did I fuck that shit up? Delete! delete!!!! FUCK! SHIT FUCK! Oh, instant message …. phone call … all things FUBAR No … that’s not … Ah, I’m fucked.
 
And that shit would eventually resolve itself and blow over and the 94% would continue. I’d say during the six or so years that Facebook and I dated, he turned on me once a year like that. And so it went.
 
Facebook had slept on the couch many nights by our 5th year together. He caused fights between me and my friends. Like BIG, SCARY fights. He got me in trouble at work one year. He liked to stir the pot. Usually out of made-up arguments or misunderstandings. I’d be SO caught off guard. Frankly, I was starting to get a little sick of his shit, but how could I ever fully live without him? Who would I tell my stories to? Who would listen to ME?
 
The final straw came this past year when I almost let Facebook mechanically separate a 30-year friendship between 3 people, one being myself. I broke up with him that very second and somehow, this made things worse. He works in ways that fuck your shit up no matter WHAT you do. Quit him? Fucked. Stay? Fucked plus fucked once again every year. I hadn’t realized what a monster of a sidekick I’d been battling. When you suddenly quit, everyone on your friends list who doesn’t get a personal phone call will think you have given them the ultimate snub: THE UNFRIENDING.
Like I said, fucked either way.
 
Without a Facebook Account, there are two facial expressions you should expect to see a LOT of.
 
YOU’RE NOT ON FACEBOOK?
DID YOU UNFRIEND ME?

Seeing my friends in real life is much better. When we meet, we have things to say to each other. Sometimes I actually pick up the phone and call people. Because I can’t wallow in every nuance of their virtual selves EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. With a half-inch fat-ass lazy-as-fuck movement of my finger. Because NOW I actually CARE!
Leaving Facebook behind has felt kind of like “growing up” and I haven’t been shy with my “Oh, Facebook? Never heard of it.” remarks around the house. I can’t help it. I feel free of shackles. I feel like I quit smoking again.
I’ll just have to continue to laugh at myself to confirm that I’m funny. That should be the easy part.
Never know what you&#8217;ll find on the picnic table in the morning. Today it was chickenballs (grouse) and a bunny! I can&#8217;t help but refer to the Grouse (pl) as &#8220;Chickenballs.&#8221; They are so perfectly round 😊 Then Gumdrop the squirrel came and went in the peanut hole. Pure Michigan Entertainment ✋❤️

Never know what you’ll find on the picnic table in the morning. Today it was chickenballs (grouse) and a bunny! I can’t help but refer to the Grouse (pl) as “Chickenballs.” They are so perfectly round 😊 Then Gumdrop the squirrel came and went in the peanut hole. Pure Michigan Entertainment ✋❤️

Justin Bieber

I’m not sure I can bear to watch Hollywood swallow up another kid. It’s the same formula over and over again:
Innocent tween becomes overnight sensation or suddenly “grows up (aka turns 18)” and is confused about their new freedoms because no rules have been set before. Behavior becomes worse due to over abundance of money, fame, sexification, too many available drugs too soon and parents that might be just as interested in the fame as their child #COUGH#DINA#. Said parent may play “friend” role rather than “parent” role, thus confusing child further. Child fucks up more things. America foams at the mouth to watch the failures of newly labeled “brat.” Lindsay … I’m sorry, Justin … Oops, I mean Honey Boo Boo, no, AmandaBritneyCoreyMichaelJacksonMaybeMileyImNotSureYet….DAMMIT! I mean Anonymous Famous Child does not comprehend overnight love turned to hatred from half of world and so begins downward spiral usually ending very, very sadly. Copy & repeat. Copy & repeat. Copy & repeat…..
I’m going to try my best not to look at the follies from here on out. I am going to be rooting for the Biebs. He had a talent, put it on YouTube and now we have a mess. Mary Jane and Xanax aren’t so bad (surely there’s more when you’re puking on stage at your own shows) and he needs to take the “Drew Barrymore Course on Surviving Childhood Celebrity and Coming Out Clean and Productive on the Other Side.” FAST. Fame is a whore and she will lovingly stare into your eyes and fuck you and then stab you right in the back and I fucking hate her and every asshole awards show and piece of bullshit that is the machine behind her. Come on Justin, stab that cunt back. At least do me a solid and trip Angelina Jolie if you ever get the chance, okay? Only because she is the face I envision the machine to have. The ugliest part that pretends to be good (Look at me! I have 6 kids! I’m a peace ambassador! I just put my toddler in a movie and she “earned” $3,000 per hour! I’m such a perfect mommy!) What a wretch. She is my metaphor for “where it all begins.”

Signed, a 39 year old female that can’t name a single one of your songs but knows that you are a real human person with feelings. I know you can stop doing dumb stuff. Now stop it.

It&#8217;s true.

It’s true.

I call this one Gandalf. He is my favorite and only one of two grays among the 5 or 6 black squirrels. Plus I have fed him to be of obnoxiously large size. He is an R.O.U.S. (just not a rat, thank goodness.)! 😊🌽

I call this one Gandalf. He is my favorite and only one of two grays among the 5 or 6 black squirrels. Plus I have fed him to be of obnoxiously large size. He is an R.O.U.S. (just not a rat, thank goodness.)! 😊🌽

New arm candy and new wall display :D